Just For Fun

If you could tell that DoJo's picture with the 'fro was "doctored", AND you thought it was hilarious, you may want to check out this cool web site. I had so much fun playing with my family's pics that I wanted to share it with you. You may get a few giggles out of it. (DoJo was not nearly as amused as I was!) Here are a couple of my favorites.

SuperWes

Olivia's TRUE personality!

I haven't found the "perfect" me yet, but I believe my profile picture comes close. Have fun with this one.

Look Who's Cooking!

The soon-to-be-married KK is learning to cook. She has always been more interested in honing skills (i.e. soccer, school, work, web design, sleep) other than the domestic ones. Shame on me, I let her get away with it...'til now. She is currently taking the crash course on planning, shopping, and cooking. So far, so good...'til it came to Sunday dinner. We do a big, extended family dinner on the first Sunday of every month, and my assignment was green chile enchiladas, which I promptly turned over to KK. As you can see, she undertook the assignment with glee. Her only comment during the preparation phase, was "I don't think I'm cut out for this cooking thing." This was after the too-hot cooking oil popped onto the top of her bare foot. She'll get the hang of it. My advice for cooking with hot oil? Wear shoes.

The enchiladas turned out just fine. This just reminds me that there really is a lot to making a home. While it is more than just cooking and cleaning, cooking and cleaning are essential and can make the difference between real comfort and mere survival. The good news is if I can learn to cook, anyone can. KK will be just fine. Besides, if worst comes to worst, we all know that Reed likes Frosties! Post all your cooking advice or tips for Kaitlin here and I will be sure to pass them along. Recipes for two are also appropriate.

DoJo's Hat

I had to stop by my bank yesterday to stop payment on the automatic withdrawl to Toyota Motor. (Yes, I sold that car, but the stupid dealership hasn't paid it off and Toyota still thinks it is mine! Long story, but the short version is that I'm about to go "open a can"...if you know what I mean...on Southwest Hyundai in Albuquerque.) Ok, so the car is an interesting story, but the really funny thing happened at the bank. DoJo went with me. If you know DoJo, you know that he wears a hat to work everyday. He does this to hide his bed-head, and then once the hat is on, he has to keep it there because he has bed-head-hat-hair. His hat is usually one with his company name and logo embroidered right on the front. It's his "sign".

When we entered the bank, DoJo stopped to ask for directions. A very nice lady told him where to go and then asked him to remove his hat while he was in the bank. Apparently they have a new policy about people wearing hoodies, hats, sunglasses, and anything else that would distort your true appearance. We actually read the new policy posted on the front doors of the bank as we entered. DoJo was miffed and very reluctant to remove his hat. Seriously, he doesn't look like a security risk, but you never know. He took the hat off, but grumbled about it during the entire bank visit. He kept coming up with "what if" scenarios...reasons people should be allowed to wear those particular items. "What if your eyes had been gouged out and you don't want people looking at your scars?" "What if you were bald and needed to keep your head warm?" And, what I believe to be his personal best, "What if I came in here wearing a big afro wig? Would they kick me out or ask me to take off my hair?" So, if you happen by the bank and run into a real big guy with an afro and those 70s style glasses with gradient lens, you will know it is just DoJo testing out the bank securtiy.

Conspiracy Theory

I've never been one to buy into any of those conspiracy theories out there, but quite by accident, I happened upon one all by myself, and I know it is REAL. Here's the scoop. The Chinese people are trying to take over the world. No joke. Think about it...who makes almost all the shoes in the world? China, that's who. They've cornered that market, and now all of us who are real fitness buffs are at the mercy of the Chinese every time we want to purchase a new pair of cross-trainers.

That's not all. The Chinese have mind control. It's called Mahjong. Mahjong is a tile game that is even more addictive than Solitare. I bet you can play Mahjong on the computer you are using to read about this mind-control conspiracy. Check the games installed under accessories. It's probably there. WARNING...DO NOT OPEN IT! It will suck you in to a Mahjong abyss from which you will never recover. Seriously, I can't stop playing. And the stupid computer has the audacity to give me my percentage of wins everytime I lose! It's all a part of the mind control. Once you see that your win rate is somewhere around 12%, you have to play again, thinking all the while that just one win will boost you up to around 15%. Once you get there, your hopes are up, and you play again and again. Hours come and go and you really have no sense of time passing. This is pure evil. I believe the Chinese want us all to become addicted to Mahjong and while we are spending countless hours sucked into this tiled void, they are going to move in and start manufacturing diet foods. Once that happens, we're done for.

Here's your sign!

I love saying "Here's your sign" because, as most of you know, I'm half red-neck. So while driving down the road the other day, I saw MY SIGN. What are the chances?

Actually, this is also another sign of spring in New Mexico. It's so dang windy that the U-R-R blew right off the sign advertising burritos.

Signs of Spring

My son-in-law accuses me of being a bit too loquacious (look that one up Jeremy!) on my blog, so I decided a photo-essay was necessary. They say a picture is worth a thousand words. You be the judge...

Painted toenails and flip-flops

Empty bird egg on the grass under the pine tree.

Pink blossom tree in the neighbor's yard.

Spring blossoms on the the bushes in the neighbor's yard. (Yes, I'm that creepy neighbor who roams around in your yard.)

Dandelions...dang it!

Actually, Nolan wears shorts year round, but I just liked this picture.

Dressed for winter, spring soccer.

Gotta love spring.

Sportin' A New Look

You may be noticing right about now that I have a new look to my blog. Since its inception, Big Daddy DoJo has been complaining that my blog was too dark and depressing. I'm pretty sure he meant the LOOK of the page and was in no way referring to all the exciting and uplifting CONTENT! Anyway, it is Spring Break and I have nothing to do while I wait on my soon-to-be-wed daughter to rouse herself out of bed before noon and go do wedding stuff with me. LOTS of down-time we're talking here...and it's too cold to work in the garden...so I'm giving my blog a new look. I like the citrus theme. To me, it says SASSY! Not that I'm sassy, oh no, I AM NOT! If you like my sassy new look, let me know. However, please word your comments so that DoJo does not get the impression that you agree with him or that you think he was right about the dark and depressing thing. We don't want him telling me "I told you so". If that happened, I can guarantee that you would witness sassy. Let's not go there.

Pumpin' Iron

So, in case you have forgotten, I have this goal of getting fit. I've been walking home from work most days, and since January, have logged over 80 miles. Not bad, but I also decided that I would lift weights to increase my muscle mass. Really, I just want to get rid of those energizer arms. You know the kind...they just keep waving and waving...long after your hand has stopped. Yuk. I hate that.

I increased my weights today. With my weight routine, I increase weight gradually and change up the number of reps. This is supposed to keep the muscles guessing and helps you to avoid a plateau stage. Isn't it really funny that I'm worried about a plateau. I've lived in a plateau stage for two decades, and NOW I'm worried about it. Until now, I've only increased one pound per week, but since my weight set doesn't have 6 lbs, I had to go to 7.5 lbs. I thought it wouldn't be a big deal, but IT WAS! Today's exercise was a called a chest-fly, I think. Basically, you lay down on the weight bench holding the weights straight up from your chest, then you lower your arms out to the sides and back to the starting position. 40 times. Whew! I did it, but when the time came for me to get in the shower and wash my hair...guess what? Noodle arms. I had to bend over at the waist to wash my hair! No kidding, I COULD NOT LIFT MY ARMS! Putting on makeup was a whole new adventure too. I had to put my elbows on the bathroom counter in order to have enough strength to lift the mascara brush. This meant kneeling on the floor and propping a hand mirror against a bottle of hair gel just so I could see myself well enough to get a read on where to put the blush. Forget putting any of that hair gel in my hair...I couldn't press my palms together with enough force to spread it evenly through my tresses.

Ok, I told you before that this fitness thing has been hard. I don't want to discourage anyone from pursuing a healthy lifestyle, but looking this good is a sacrifice.

Lucky Streak Ended Today :(

I've been teaching eight years now, and in all that time, I've never had a student throw up in my classroom. Alas, my lucky streak ended today. I have to say, I handled it like a real mom (good thing I am one!) Poor little Beauford told me first thing this morning that he wasn't feeling well. I tried to convince him that he should go home, but going home meant staying at Grandma's house all day, so he opted to remain at school. Imagine! Poor kid prefers my classroom to Grandma's house! That Grandma needs some lessons from me. Apparently she doesn't know about the joys of Pay-Per-View, Sprite, and jello.

Thankfully, Beauford had moved away from the two little Princesses he sits with to table by himself so that he could work on his math in peace. I can just imagine what kind of commotion it would have caused if he had blown chunks right in front of them! The room was fairly quiet when he announced, "I puked." I sent him to the men's room to get himself cleaned up, and proceeded to call for a janitor. The stupid janitors (men!) ignored the S.O.S. and I had to clean it up myself. I pulled out the latex gloves and Lysol and presto...everything was good as new just in time to go to lunch. Ugh. When I went to check on the little puker in the nurse's office, he assured me that he was feeling better (no doubt...I saw what he had for breakfast!) and wanted to stay at school. I assured him that it would be better to take his pukey little self home and come back tomorrow when he could guarantee that he wouldn't do a repeat performance.

The good thing was that I didn't get all grossed out and follow him in the wretching routine. The bad thing is, we were working on probability, and I think I could have made a descent object lesson out of what the odds of puking in class would be. Next time, I'll be more prepared.

My daughters' fashion sense!

My three daughters went shopping yesterday. They were supposed to be looking for wedding stuff, but somehow they ended up at the local Goodwill Store. Before I go on, let me just say that when the three of them get together, they are DANGEROUS! You never know what will happen, but usually it is something I would be embarrassed to witness in person. They normally document their shopping sprees with photos, so I was expecting to get this beautiful little number they picked out for me. They may be dangerous, but they have inherited some common sense from their mother, so they opted not to buy, thinking it was a little low cut for Muffin-top Mojo. Thank goodness!
They did, however, buy this sweet little number for me. A hot-pink crocheted poncho, complete with slits for my hands. Although the photo seems "enhanced", believe me, it is really that pink! They were soooo proud of themselves. And for the real kicker, daughter #3, aka Frosty Inhaler, asked me to put the dang thing on and wear it when her husband-to-be came over. I protested, saying that he would think I was psycho. Her reply? "Don't worry about it mom, he already thinks that." Great, just great. Just to prove a point, I think I'll wear it for the upcoming reception. After all, her colors are brown, turquoise, and PINK. Ha! That'll show her.

The Best Week Ever

This has been a GREAT week, and I'm not referring to all the hubbub over a youngster who can devour a Frosty at the speed of light. Yes...that DID create a lot of excitement (and angst, if you know what I mean!)---but that was not what made the week extraordinary. So...you are asking yourself "what could top this diamond in the roughage story"...and here it is...THE CHAFED SPOTS ON THE INSIDE OF MY ELBOWS HAVE DISAPPEARED! Incredible, huh? It's almost a miracle. I've gone through gallons of guaranteed-to-moisturize lotion and nothing. Those annoying spots stayed right there on the inside of my arms right where they brush against my "muffin tops" during my daily power walk. If you've never had the pleasure of seeing my power walk,...well, it's something akin to an obese racewalker---if there were such a thing. Those skinny racewalkers have NOTHIN' on me! I have fat deposits whose jiggling actually propels me forward. Some days I have such momentum that I actually have to hold on to something in order to come to a complete stop.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT!
Ok, so back to the real story here...my muffin tops have shrunk and my elbows no longer rub against them when I walk. INCREDIBLE, no?! I have to say, it was as much of a surprise to me as it will be to you when you read this. Really, I'm most likely the fittest fat person on the planet, and to date, all my power walking (a story for another day) has yet to do anything for me except increase the size of my appetite. (Actually, I think it keeps my blood pressure in check, but that's boring.) So, you may be asking, "how did she do it?" Well, about 3 weeks ago I began lifting free weights and doing some simple core exercises, and VIOLA!...the muffin tops are melting and I can cut back on my aloe-enhanced skin products.
I don't want to make this seem like it was magic melting muffin tops. Oh no, it hasn't been easy on me at all. I'm not looking for any sympathy here, just saying I've paid some dues for spotless elbows. That said, I think you may be thinking "how can I get magic melting muffin tops too?" Am I right? I knew it! (I love it when I'm right!) Well, as promised, I've got some advice for you. Here's just a few tips to get you started:
1. Don't tell anyone you've begun a new "exercise" program just in case you whimp out when you have to increase your weights to 4 pound bar bells. Seriously, it was HARD!
2. Hide your free weights from any male or teenager in the house. (MALE teenagers are especially dangerous.) The reason for this is that if they see your weights, they'll pick 'em up and make some psuedo-witty remark like "feel the burn". This is just their feeble attempt to humiliate you. Don't go there.
3. Don't do your weight lifting routine when humans or pets are within earshot. Enough said.
4. After lifting, s-t-r-e-t-c-h out...and I don't mean pass out on the weight bench! Stretch the muscles you've been working. Seriously, I didn't know that there was this evil, bad thing called lactic acid that is made when you lift weights (or do any other activity that is "foreign" to your body). Lactic acid builds up in the muscle and that is what causes you to get sore. On the morning after my first session of lunges with weights, I woke up thinking I had meningitis in my thighs and butt. No kidding, I had to fall out of bed and army crawl to the bathroom. I would've given one of those thighs for a handicap rail near the toilet! My legs didn't work right for days. I walked around like I had no joints in my knees or hips. It was pretty embarrassing.
So take my word on this...s-t-r-e-t-c-h after weights.
If you are interested in my fitness program, check out http://www.5factordiet.com/ or buy the book: The 5 Factor Diet by Harvey Pasternak, M.Sc. Don't let the whole "diet" word scare you away. I haven't been real faithful to the diet part, only the weights. The diet is just common sense.
Yes, I'm hoping for results other than not having those annoying chafed spots on my arms. I'll keep you posted. Ooops! I just broke rule #1.
Oh, and one more thing...I know it is cool to put pictures up with the blog, but this one fell into the categories of gross, TMI, and Wanda, come here! You'll never believe what I found on the Internet. Nope! No pictures on this one. You'll thank me later.

Blogability!

This is my latest venture into the wonderful world of technology! My children seem to have such a wonderful time with blogging, so I just couldn't wait any longer to join all the fun. Just wait and see, THIS will be the blog to read! My life is so exciting that everyone will be living the good life just by reading my blog.